You don’t have to Feel Selfish to Live on your Own Terms

Have you ever set a goal and tried to work on it with a friend or family member? Only to find yourself frustrated, unmotivated and ready to throw in the towel? The way they work towards accomplishing the same goal simply does not work for you. In fact, it feels like the other person’s way of moving forward is foreign and from another planet. This happens when individuals come together with very different personalities, priorities, and different mindsets. Whether we decide to continue to move forward on our goals together or go at it alone, we have to figure out what works best for us and be true to it. In order to find success we need to establish our own terms.

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My husband, John, and I have been working on eating better over the past few years. Through trial and error I have found what works best for me regarding what to eat and when to eat it. It works so great for me, that I thought it would obviously work great for John! As we moved forward, it was obvious that he thought I was the alien from another planet because what works for me DOES NOT WORK FOR HIM! Expecting one way to work for both of us brought stress and frustration. For us to succeed, we had to figure out what worked for each of us individually. Once we did, we each moved forward on our own terms.

Here are five steps that will help you accomplish goals on your own “terms.”

  1. Figure out what your “terms” are. This may take some time and effort, but everything worth doing, usually does. Pay attention to what works well for you, and ask yourself what it is that makes it so enjoyable? Pay attention to times of stress and discomfort, and ask yourself what it is about that situation that brings you stress? Your “terms” may be different depending on what you are working towards; however, you will find that many of your “terms” apply in a number of different situations.
  2. Communicate your “terms” with those closest to you. Once you start to get a grasp on what works best for you, share it with those close to you. It will help them understand you better and enable them to help you however they can.
  3. Apply your “terms” to every possible situation. When you move towards accomplishing something important to you, be sure to remember what you have already learned about yourself and how that will help you pursue your new goals. Do everything you can to be true to yourself.
  4. Serve other people on their “terms.” I love things to be organized. If I know I am working with someone or going into a situation that may lack organization, I acknowledge it and figure out how I can succeed while respecting and serving the other individual in the process. Serving others is a big part of living our best.
  5. Live with less stress. The more we can identify what works best for us, and live according to our “terms,” the greater potential we have to lower our stress level. Today, I know what makes me tick. I know what works best for me and I fill my life with those things. I want the same for you!

As you have moved forward in the areas you want to improve, have you found things that work and things that don’t? Focus on what you have learned and see how it applies as you move forward in all areas of your life.

Here’s to living true to who we are!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.