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Category Archives for "What’s Most Important"

Jul 13

It’s Kept Me On Course Through The Twists And Turns Of Life

By Jen Regan | Accomplishing Goals , Baby Steps , Overcoming Obstacles , Perseverance , Planning , What's Most Important

In the spring of 2011 I decided to change the direction of my career. Since then, life has been anything but a straight line or an easy path. I have had health issues, the decline and passing of my Dad, business starts and stops and a lot of physical pain. Through everything, there has been one thing that has kept me focused on my career goal and prevented me from getting off course. Here’s my story.

It all started when I picked up a book about Life Coaching. I had never heard of such a thing, but it was more common on the East and West Coast. I knew immediately it was what I wanted to do. I love encouraging others to move forward towards whatever life they want to live or goals they want to accomplish. I researched different certifications and quickly had a phone call set up with an organization out of Oregon. I took my first step which was to be coached myself. I could not give what I had not experienced for myself. I loved it and as part of the Life Coaching process, I created a Life Plan. 

My Life Plan forced me to think about the future in detail, which was not something I was used to doing. I had to decide what was most important to me and what I wanted my life to look like many years in the future. This process was very eye opening to me because the current reality of my life was that I was very unhealthy in a lot of ways. If I continued on the road that I was on, my future did not look very rosey. Basically, if I didn’t want that to be my future reality, A LOT WAS GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE!.

I had back issues, I ate horribly, I did not exercise like I should and my stress management was not that great. At my current rate, I was not going to make it to live a long life, and if I did, I would not be active and vibrant. There was so much I had to change that I quickly felt OVERWHELMED! And I wanted to change careers on top of this?

My Life Coach, Joy, introduced me to the idea of Baby Steps. She taught me that there was ALWAYS something I could do to move forward, even if it was in the smallest of ways. That is what I did, but along with all of these changes, the twists and turns of life made things even more challenging.

Within the next year I changed jobs, lost my job, studied for and finished my Life Coaching Certification, had a major surgery (which appears to have triggered autoimmune issues in my body), started a business with my husband, John, and set out on my goal to become a Life Coach. Through the twists and turns, I kept my Life Plan in front of me and it kept me moving forward.

I spent the next few years coaching a handful of amazing women. It was great to be a part of the changes they experienced in their life. Overall though, most busy women were not interested in having a Life Coach. This made me sad for them and made me question whether this was a viable career. I did not meet a woman who did not love the concept and they all agreed that they could benefit from it, but I ran into two walls. 

The first obstacle was that they were already crazy busy, they simply did not have the time to add in Life Coaching Sessions or the time to make the changes they wanted in their lives. The second obstacle was one of finances. It is my heart to help what I call “us normal women”, but us normal chicks don’t have a lot of extra cash. It was also hard to spend money on something they felt they should be able to do on their own. I Completely understood.

The question for me was, what do I do next? I still had a heart to help women focus on what is most important in their lives and not get pulled off course with the busyness of life. I decided to take my obstacles head on. I decided to write a book because I figured everyone could afford a book. HeeHee, this makes me laugh! I have never been good at proper english, grammar or spelling. I had NO EXPERIENCE with writing anything much less a book. What was I thinking? 

Baby Steps were my answer. I had to take one Baby Step at a time to move forward. It suddenly became clear that this is how all of us, with busy lives and overwhelming tasks, need to move forward. Baby Steps was the answer to the second obstacle.

Let’s fast forward A FEW YEARS! Yes, A few years and more of life’s twists and turns. I was not making the money I needed to with Life Coaching and it was time for me to go back to work full time as a bookkeeper. My dreams and my book were put on hold for one full year. At my year mark, I decided I was going to get back to working on my book, but life’s twists and turns decided differently. Finally I started getting up crazy early every Sunday morning to take baby steps towards writing my book. It was still my heart’s passion to help very busy women live the best life they can, focused on the best things. 

In November of last year (2018) I talked to my husband about taking a year off of work to concentrate on my book and that is what I did, but the twists and turns of life continue. This year I have been diagnosed with another autoimmune condition. My body decided it did not like food so I had to go on an elimination diet. At one point I could eat 15 things total. To put that in perspective, if you go out to eat, had a hamburger with everything on it, french fries and an unsweet iced tea, that totals about 15 things. My body decided to have reactions to food, one that caused severe back pain for almost 3 months. 

Why am I sharing all of this? It is because through the past 8 years my Life Plan has kept me on track. Today, I am still moving toward the future that I defined 8 years ago. I am still focused on what I have defined as most important to me. I am still learning, growing and taking baby steps toward my goal every single day. I have a picture of my future that I want to make a reality. That picture is my Life Plan.

This is why I have created my Life Planning Class that I am now making an Online Course. 

  • I know one of the obstacles that you face is time. With this in mind, I am giving participants access for 4 months so that you can work through the 4 lessons at your own pace.

  • I also know that money is tight, but I felt $69.00 per participant was doable and a great investment in your future. 

It is my heart’s desire that you know what you want your future to look like and that you keep moving towards that future no matter what life throws your way!

Registration is only open for one week - So Mark Your Calendars!

(Wednesday, July 24, 2019 - Tuesday, July 30, 2019)

A Work At Your Own Pace Online Course: How To Achieve Your Ideal Life!

This online course will:

  • Provide direction and more focus in the areas of life that are most important to you.

  • Help you define what you want your future to look like, not allowing others to define it for you.

  • Create a plan that will get you from here to there, even when the twists and turns of life try to get you off course.

  • Establish Small Action Steps that will fit into your busy day and keep you moving in the right direction.

The Details:

  • This online course contains 4 time released Lessons, one published each Thursday, on the first four Thursday of August 2019. (1st, 8th, 15th & 22nd)

  • Each Lesson will contain a quick Video Lesson with Action Step Instructions and Worksheets for you to work on before you move on to the next lesson.

  • You will have access to the course for 4 MONTHS which will allow you to work at your own pace! I believe in a NO STRESS ZONE! (Access from August 1, 2019 - November 30, 2019)

Work Towards Your Ideal Life for $69.00 per participant!

  • Registration is only open for one week! Wednesday July 24, 2019 - Tuesday, July 30, 2019 so mark your calendar!

  • There are only 25 "Seats" Available for the course. First come first serve!

  • Please note that this course is non-refundable.

August is a great time to pull out the school supplies and invest in an amazing future! Register at JenRegan.info starting July 24, 2019!

Jul 04

Add The Super Great Stuff Into Your Life!

By Jen Regan | What's Most Important

We have a great bunch of ladies going through Module 2 of the Live Your Life On Track Series and today is day #7 for them. They have identified the areas in their life that are “non-negotiables” for them. Areas that cannot be neglected and are very important to them. Today, they continue to add great things into their lives and schedules. What a great reminder to us all this 4th of July!

I love summer! I will take the heat any day over the cold. My husband, John, is just the opposite. This year, John’s work has a “step” challenge going, encouraging all of their employees to get up and move. Well, John has taken on the challenge, and me along with him. Now that the days are getting so warm in St. Louis, we have been having to get out to do some laps around our neighborhood each evening. This challenge has added some great things to John and my life together. We are exercising more and we are spending a good amount of time each day talking about our day and what we think about life in general. I would have never expected all of the positive benefits it has brought us when we first started out.

What are some great things you could add to your life this summer? They don’t have to be big things, in fact, all you may be able to fit in is small things. With that in mind, what are some small things that could bring you and your loved ones the biggest joy?

Today, along with my Module 2 ladies, think about the areas that are most important in your life, the areas you would not want to neglect. Ask yourself, what small things could I add to my schedule right now that would make a big impact? For you, and for those you care about. Add them to your calendar right now and remember, they are non-negotiable!

Here’s to a great, impactful summer!

If you have a friend that could benefit from the reminders we share in this blog, will you send it her way? We all need a boost, and it’s great to get one from a dear friend!

If you would like to having my blog emailed directly to you each week, here's the place to sign up! There's more great stuff coming next week! Don't miss out!   - Jen

Jun 20

Here Is A Method That Is Helping Busy Women Know They Are Spending Their Time Wisely!

By Jen Regan | What's Most Important

We all want to have the confidence that we are spending our time and energy wisely. It can be challenging to know if we are on the right track. We go, go, go all day with obligations from start to finish. As we finish the day, how do we know we spent our time and energy on the right things?

I love bedtime! I hit the sack close to the same time every night. Me and my dog, Pebbles, have our routine and take over the bed. My husband, John, is a night owl and joins us a few hours later. I have found bedtime to be a good time to reflect on my day. I try to walk through my day from start to finish. I tend to feel like I have never done enough in my day, but as I reflect, I realize that I did get quite a bit accomplished. Most nights I don’t even make it through my time of reflection before I am sound asleep. It’s a great way to end the day!

End of day reflection is a great method of gauging whether you spent your time and energy wisely that day.

As you go to bed tonight, ask yourself:

Do I feel like I had moments of connection with the people that are most important to me? When all is said and done, the people that we love, and time with them, is one of the greatest investments of our time. We all have those days where we know it is going to be busy from start to finish. The challenge comes when most, or all of our days are like that, and the connection with the people we love, get the leftovers, if there are any. It’s a great feeling to know that we prioritized time for those we love during the day, and it’s a great thing to reflect on as you fall asleep each night.

Do I feel like I moved forward on important areas in my life today? Even if it was really small baby steps? Each one of us have goals we want to accomplish, some are formally written down, some are kept safe in our minds. Either way, we usually know what we need to do each day to move forward on the areas that are important to us. I love checking things off my to-do list, and it gives me a great feeling at the end of each day when I know I spent my time on what is most important.

Do I feel like the pace of my day was right for me? Was it rushed and packed to the gills? Did I have a slow, unmotivated day? Was it just right? I call this our personal speed limit, and I believe we all have one. Your personal speed limit is unique to you and you feel the best when you work inside of that speed limit. At the end of the day, you know when you overdid it. You also know when you under did it. The great feeling comes when you know you lived at the pace that was perfect for you!

Do I feel like I was able to do something to take care of my health and well-being today? Ladies, we have to take care of ourselves! I am here to tell you, from my experience,  bad health will catch up with you if you do not take care of yourself. It is challenging to prioritize ourselves when we feel good, but it is so very important. If anything, it gives you more energy to live your life well. It is a great feeling to fall into bed knowing you took great care of yourself that day!

As you go to bed tonight, take a few deep breaths, relax and reflect on your day. No one day is perfect. Love yourself and celebrate the things that went well. Give yourself love and grace for the areas you would like to do better. Close your eyes and be thankful for the day.

You are AMAZING! Let’s give every day our absolute best!

DON’T FORGET! 
Sign-up for my next free resource is closing this Sunday (June 23, 2019)!

Live Your Life On Track Module 2 is called

The Secret To Time Management and Balance!

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When you sign up for Module 2, you will receive 1 daily email for 14 days straight from June 28th - July 11th, 2019. They will:

  • Consist of small steps that you can accomplish in just minutes a day.
  • Help you take a close look at where you are currently spending your time and energy.
  • Identify the changes you would like to make in your schedule and life.
  • Teach you three key habits that will help you live on the right track for years to come.

I am super excited about this Module!

You will not want to miss it! 

_______________________

Registration is closed!

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If you are interested in receiving my weekly blog, you can still sign up for that below!

Jun 06

Little Known Ways To Stop Feeling Drained And Start Living Your Best!

By Jen Regan | What's Most Important

Last week I published a free resource on my website. In it, I made the statement “Living on track and living drained do not go together.” Ever since I hit the “publish” button, I have been thinking about that statement and asking if it is really true. I know what it feels like to be tired, and I know what it feels like to feel drained. What’s the difference and why does it matter?

This past October I went to a conference called Catalyst in Atlanta Georgia. The theme of the conference was “Fully Alive!” Going into the conference I felt anything but “fully alive”, in fact, I wondered if there was really such a thing. I sat in the arena for two full days and listened to amazing speaker after amazing speaker and slowly found my “tanks” filling. I did not realize it, but I was completely drained going into the conference and came out “filled up”. The day after the conference when my friend and I were traveling home, I wrote down a list of items in my life that were draining me. Today I can say that I get tired, but I am guarding myself against becoming drained.

What’s the difference?

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We get tired when...we know what direction we want to go, what we want to achieve and put our heart and soul into achieving it.

We get drained when...we don’t really know where we want to go and what we want to accomplish in life. Yogi Berra once said “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up someplace else.” It’s like the frantic feeling while driving when you realize you are lost.

Knowing where you want to go and what you want to accomplish in life will take some time and energy, but it feels good to know you are on the right track!

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We get tired when...we put our time and energy on the things that are truly most important to us.

We get drained when...we allow ourselves to be continually pulled in the wrong direction by other people and what is important to them. When I left the “Fully Alive” conference, I had to come to grips with the fact that I did a lot of things, not because they were right for me, but because I wanted approval of others. Ugggh! I know. This one is a hard one, but here is the good news. We do not have to get everything perfect right now. Sometimes, once we become aware of areas that we need to improve on, we start taking baby steps to change it.

Starting to determine what is most important to you is a great place to start to live on the right track and feel less drained by others.

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When we are tired...we go to bed at night knowing we spent our time and energy on the right stuff. We may be physically tired, but we are ready for a good night’s rest and ready to hit the ground first thing in the morning.

When we are drained...we go to bed feeling empty, desperately looking for a way to fill our tanks. That is where I was back in October.

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I don’t want you to feel this way! It feels so much better to live with a plan and feel on track.

I want to swoop into each of your lives. I want to encourage and support you in the endeavor of living life on track. The way I have found to help as many AMAZING WOMEN as possible is to put together some resources to guide you on the journey. Here is what I have put together for you.

Module 1 of my Live Your Life On Track series:

  • Is a simple start to take a look at the activities of your life and decide whether they bring you happiness or not.
  • It helps us realize we are in control of our lives and sometimes some small tweaks can make a big difference.

Module 2 which you can sign up for next week! (Sign-up limited to June 14-June 23rd):

  • Will help you reconnect with the areas that are most important to you, but you get pulled away from.
  • Will help you take a close look at where you are today and where you want to be in the future.
  • Will teach you three key habits that will help you live on the right track for years to come.

Module 3 is where I bring my Life Planning Class online for you. In this class you will:

  • Dive deeper into the most important areas of your life.
  • Look at what you want those areas to look like many years in the future.
  • Create a plan that will get you from here to there, even when the twists and turns of life want to get you off course.
  • There will be a fee associated with this course, but it will be worth the investment in you and your future! Keep an eye out for more details in weeks to come.

But for right now, keep plugging away on Module 1 and if you have not had a chance to download your guidebook yet, sign up below and start to live our life on the right track!

Mar 21

Yes! Yes! Yes! There Are Right Things To Say “Yes” To!

By Jen Regan | What's Most Important

More and more we hear about the importance of saying “no”, in fact, I have written blog posts on the subject. But not today! Today is all about “YES!”  There are so many important things in our lives that deserve to be told “yes!” What are they for you?

Recently my husband, John, was gone for a week on a business trip. We do not have children, so it was going to be me and my dog, Pebbles, holding down the fort for the week. The first thing I did was stop by the grocery store to pick up a bundle of fresh flowers. I came home, put them in a vase and displayed them front and center on my kitchen table. This is not something I do frequently, but it was spring and I decided to say “yes” to doing something special for myself. It is a little thing, but every time I see them, they makes me happy and for that, it was worth saying “yes” to!

In each of our lives we have people and things that are most important to us. Identifying what is most important has tremendous benefits. Yes, it reminds us of what is not important and what should not get our time, but just as importantly, our list of “most important things” directs us to what should get our time and attention.

What is most important to you? Have you ever taken the time to write them down? If not, now is a great time to start. Who is most important in your life? What activities are important to you? What values do you hold close to you? What do you want to invest your time and energy in? As you go through you week, start to think about it and start writing your list.

Once you have a good list started, another great step is to put them in their order of importance. This can be helpful when there are different “good” things competing for your time. Knowing what is MOST important will help you know what to say “yes” to.

Writing these important things down helps you, also, to really think them through too. I remember when I wrote mine down for the first time. I had no idea where to put myself. I knew I needed to take care of myself, but what did that mean? Forcing myself to write down what was most important to me, made me think about them, and over time, I slowly but surely moved myself up to a higher priority on my list. I knew I had to take care of myself in order to take care of others.

After you have written them down, keep them in your day planner or someplace you look daily. They are a great reminder of what to stay focused on when life tries to pull you off course. It also helps you come up with fun ideas like buying flowers for yourself!

There are so many things to say “yes” to, but we want to make sure we say “yes” to the BEST! Defining what BEST is, is the place to start this week!

If you enjoyed today’s post, I would love to send it to you every week. Click here to subscribe and it will be sent straight to you inbox.

Here’s to saying YES to our BEST!

Mar 07

I Need A Solution – NOW PLEASE!

By Jen Regan | Can Do Attitiude , Overcoming Obstacles , Perseverance , What's Most Important

Life likes to throw challenges our way on a regular basis. Sometimes the solution is evident, sometimes it is not. I love instant answers. I love instant, clear direction, but life does not hand that to us all the time either. So what do we do when the solution to a challenge is not immediately evident?

I have had to make some challenging decisions in the past few months. These decisions revolve around areas that I have defined most important to me in my life. If they are most important, than they should get my time and energy right? Yes, but that is not always easy when there is only 24 hours in a day and I need to sleep and eat at some point. How, then, am I going to prioritize these things? What is the solution? Why isn’t the solution easy to find?

There are decisions that require immediate response, and we all do our absolute best to make the right decision at the moment. There are many decisions that really do not require an immediate response. The BEST solution might actually reveal itself if thought through over a period of time.

For those of you with strong, fast paced decision making skills, I know you feel that all decisions should be made quickly. My husband has the strength of making quick decisions and does it pretty well. Heaven forbid we were ever in an emergency situation, he would have me to the safest spot before the emergency even registered with me. Even though this is a strength, he does struggles with making decisions that do not have quick, fast, easy answers.

Those of us (me included) that have a slower, more introspective approach to decision making, can be challenged with the slow process of finding a solution too. I want things NOW just as much as others do. Here are the nuggets I want to share with you today that have been profoundly helpful for me in past months.

If something is very important to you, and does not require an immediate response:

  1. Don’t give up on the idea or dream if the solution is not immediately evident.
  2. If it is a priority, keep it in the forefront of your mind. Don’t let it slip away.
  3. In your mind, or even on paper, continue to play out scenarios that might work. You will find many that will not, but that is part of the process.
  4. HERE IS THE BIG ONE I HAVE LEARNED RECENTLY! Relax! Don’t fight it. There have been two instances where I kept fighting and fighting for a solution. When I finally wore myself out and relaxed, the answer appeared. One solution came through a comment from a friend and the second came from relaxing and daydreaming a little.

You might think I am off my rocker a little, but aren’t we all! ; ) If you have been trying to figure out how to make something very important to you work in your life, but the solution has not been easy, take another approach. Take a load off of your mind and relax. What’s the worse that can happen? A nap?

Let’s live an amazing life focused on what is most important to us. Hooray when life’s solutions  come quickly! Relax a little when they don’t!

Jan 31

Settling Is No Fun

By Jen Regan | Overcoming Obstacles , What's Most Important

In preparation for launching my Facebook Group, I read the book Tribes by Seth Goden. In it he stated that “Settling is not fun.”1 Which I agree with whole heartedly. Just a few sentences later, he mentions “competing priorities” as a possible culprit for settling. Hmmm, that’s an interesting topic to dive into! How can we deal with competing priorities, especially when they are both high on our priority list?

Back in October, I changed up my workout routine. I started at a new gym, with new class options. I started out going to one class a week, desperately wanted to add more, but I suddenly found two high priority items pulling at me for my time and attention. Both of them were part of what I consider to be my Heart’s BEST Work. My family and my self care. I did not want to settle, but how was I going to work through these competing top priorities?

The first thing I did was review my priorities and how they were reflected on my calendar. I knew what was most important to me in life, so I needed to make sure those most important things were really getting my time and attention, not other less important things.

Second, since I had to find a way to juggle these two really important things, I took my time to make decisions. I was tempted to give up quickly and settle with the reality that one night at the gym was just going to have to be enough. I just could not settle for that. 2018 was a very “blah” year for me with regards to my physical health. I wanted new and better for 2019. The answers came by thinking things through over time and with determination.

Next, I had to be open to changing old routines. I love routines! Once I find something that works, I stick with it FOREVER (I wish)! As I looked at my options to fit in these most important things, I initially did not want to budge on changing up some of my well formed routines. It actually took the gentle nudge/suggestion of someone at the gym to make me even consider changing things up. I did and guess what, I have a new routine!

I decided to reduce my time with one priority in order to add it to another. I cherish the time I have at home with my husband and puppy, but something had to give in order for me to find time to add in my desired gym time. Neglecting my family was not an option, but finding a compromise was. Now, I workout on Saturday mornings when John (and Pebbles) love to sleep in. They hardly know I am gone. Some nights John and I eat dinner a little later, and the nights I workout, we have less “hang out” time. John does not love waiting at times, but he truly does support me, so we have found a compromise. Now my time is shared among these two priorities.

We have to guard and prioritize our Heart’s BEST Work, but know that even when priorities compete for our time, there is a way to come out the other side and not settle.

1 S. Godin, Tribes: We Need You To Lead Us. (Portfolio/Pengiun 2008), 78

Dec 27

You Can Do It…Differently

By Jen Regan | What's Most Important

I don’t know about you, but I want to focus on the Most Important Things in my life in 2019. That seems like an obvious goal, but it is not always the reality we are pulled into. We all have very busy schedules, more obligations than we can meet, and only 24 hours in a day. If we want to improve the way we live and what gets our focus in the next year, we may have to do things differently.

First of all, do you know what is Most Important to you? I think you have a pretty good idea of what should be on the top of your list. Have you ever written it down though? Writing down this list actually helps us think through it a little bit deeper. I have provided a free resource at the end of this blog to help you out. Let’s do things a little different in 2019 and actually write down our Most Important List.

Second, compare your Most Important List to your calendar. Does your calendar reflect what you have determined to be Most Important to you? The greatest gift we can give is that of our time. Do you need to do things a little differently and add more of the items on your Most Important List to your calendar in 2019?

Lastly, we have two options in 2019, to say “yes” or to say “no”. Those are your two options. Something will get your time and attention, and something will not. You are in the driver’s seat. When you are asked to add something to your life in 2019, will you say yes to the Most Important things, or set them aside for good but less important things?

On December 31, 2019 it is my heart’s desire that we all look back on this amazing year and know, without a doubt,  that we focused on the Most Important People and Things in our lives. Here’s to trying things differently in 2019 to live our BEST!

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Dec 20

When Everything Else is Stripped Away, What is Most Important to You?

By Jen Regan | What's Most Important

I hope this blog post finds you and your family well, but I also know that life is not perfect, even here in December. The television commercials display the perfect happy family, perfect romance and the perfect gift under the tree, which is a brand new car! Hee, Hee! I asked my husband, the other night, how many people actually get a new car for Christmas? I am thrilled for you, if you are one of those people! When we strip all of the “stuff” away, I ask you “What are the things that are most important to you?”

The reason this question is so important this time of year, is that we have the desire for the Holidays to look a certain way. We desire quality time with family. We desire to catch up with friends that are only in town this time of year. We desire to keep God as the focus of the season. How is it that we get to the end of another year and feel a little sad because another Holiday Season flew past and is gone?

I know one of the biggest things that gets me off track each year, are the expectations of others. It is great that so many people want us to be a part of their event, but we have a choice, fill our time with what others want us to do, or fill our time with what is most important to us. I, by no means, want us to be disrespectful to others, I simply don’t want us to fill our time with expectations of others and miss out on what is most important to us, again.

While you are driving home within the next day, since that might be the only quiet time you have in your day, think about who and what is most important to you. Ask yourself if you have prioritized quality time with them this Holiday Season. Think about the obligations and expectations that you have agreed to that might keep you from your most important people and things.

Decide to have an amazing Holiday Season. It’s up to you. Someone is going to get your time and someone will not. You get to decide who those people are.

I wish you the absolute best Christmas and New Year!

Jen

Mar 22

It’s So Easy…To Say Yes!

By Jen Regan | What's Most Important

Last week we talked about how sometimes the plethora of opportunities that present themselves in our lives gets in the way of the quality. This week we will touch on why we love saying “yes”, why we don’t like saying “no”, and how we can find the quality of life we are yearning for.

Have you ever been in a situation where you were asked by a really great person to do something, attend something, make food for something, or volunteer for something? Even though you know your schedule is crazy busy, the word “yes” slips right on out. After all, this is a really great person asking me and it is a good cause. It feels good at that moment to say “yes!” You suddenly can’t ignore the unsettled feeling deep down in your soul though. You know you will need to figure out how to fit this in amongst all of the other opportunities that you and your loved ones have said “yes” to. But for now, it feels good to have said “yes”.

You are right! It has been shown that saying “yes” brings a good feeling to our bodies, much like the good feeling eating sweets, drinking caffeine, or filling our tummies with our favorite food. It literally feels good to say “yes”. We instantly feel approval. We instantly get a smile of appreciation. It instantly feels good.

Verses…

The disappointment that we perceive when we say “no” to others. We generally don’t get a smile in return. We certainly don’t feel approved of. If there is any feeling that can be associated with saying “no” it would be the feeling of cold, not cozy. Then the guilt sets in. The person we just said “no” to is such a great person, they work so hard, we feel like we owe them. I just finished reading a book by Andy Stanley called Enemies of the Heart, where he talk about guilt. He explains that when we feel guilty, we feel like we owe someone something. I have found that to be true in my life.

No wonder the word “yes” flies off of our tongue so quickly!

Reality then sets in. How are we going to fit it all in? I guess the morning jog that I long for can wait another day. The kids are fine running around with me at night and the sit down dinner around our home table that I long for will just have to wait. I will have my significant other run to pick up the food for the next night’s event and we will eventually see each other when we all get home  at night just to start in all over again the next morning.

I’m worn out just writing that paragraph, and I know there were probably a number of things I missed in that description. I do know something that was missing in the descriptions… many things that you hold dear to you as most important.

That just made my heart hurt a little. It feels so good to say “yes” until reality sets in. Reality does not feel good at all.

I do have a solution and a way for you to still get the good feeling by saying “yes”.

Take time to define what is most important to you, even define the pace of life you desire to live. Start saying “yes” to those things. Fill your calendar with those things. When the really great person comes up to you and asks you if you can add something to your calendar, here is what you do:

  • You think about what you have defined as “most important” to you and ask yourself if this fits into those categories.
  • You think about the pace of life you want to live and you ask yourself if this will help you live at that pace.
  • You tell them you will take a look at your calendar and get back with them.
  • You look at your calendar, which is starting to fill up with “most important” things and you make a decision…then you get back with that really great person with an answer.
  • There is nothing wrong with telling someone you already have plans for that night, even if those plans are to cuddle up with a book on your couch to rejuvenate your soul.

It feels great to say “yes” to the best things, and you actually feel good deep down, even when you have to tell someone else “no”. You know you are living the life you want to be living by doing the things that are most important to you.


Actions steps:

  1. Start adding a few things on your calendar that are things that are most important to you.
  2. Make one of those things “taking time to define what is most important to me, and the pace of life I want to be living.”
  3. Gradually transition the things on your calendar to the things that are most important to you and away from the “yeses” that are driven by the guilt of letting others down.
  4. Keep moving forward in this fashion, one step at a time!

Say “yes” to the best things! You got this!

 

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